Words

There are certain words and phrases that I hate dearly in this life and really hope they have never been invented. Here's a blog to justify my feeling for them.
1) Love
Why do people have to use the word "love"? Isn't "like" sufficient enough? I mean, how do you even differentiate the word "love" from "like". OK, love is "liking intensely". But at what degree does a feeling border upon the "intensely" region. Personally, I think the only time the word love is needed as opposed to like is when you cheat on your spouse with some friend of yours who you can't really classify as a "mistake" then you would have to tell your spouse, "I like her, babe but I LOVE you and only you."

2) "I'm not supposed to tell you this but I have to so don't tell anyone else, OK?"
Now would someone tell me what's wrong with this thing here? Oh wait, lemme see.... Hmm~ maybe EVERYTHING?!
First of all, when you're not supposed to tell someone something, then just shut up and don't tell! Secondly, if YOU yourself can't keep your mouth shut then what gives you the right to ask people to keep theirs shut and in which fantasy world did you come from to actually even think they would shut up?
The situation gets waaaaaay worse when that sentence is spiced up by the following : "Can you keep a secret?". Like hello~?! Aren't you supposed to be asking yourself that? How do you even expect somebody that would be low enough to indulge in paying attention to your gossip to keep a secret? You can't keep one can you so it's expected that he/she won't keep it too right?

3) Goodbye.
This word in particular is the worse word ever, and it is always the hardest word to say. It's different when you say "Bye" or "Tata" or "See you" because those 3 versions give you a feeling that you'll meet again soon enough. But when you say "goodbye" it feels like you're saying "Bye for good, I'll see you in the next life." or something like that. This will also explain why I always refrain myself from using this word. If it's said among couples, then it makes you feel like "Oh, you've done something wrong (i.e. cheated on me and I didn't fall for your "love trick") so get out of my life, goodbye."
The other word similar to this is "farewell". I don't get it. Why do people have to use these two words? There are so formal and so grave and... It sounds so much like you'll never meet again, at least not in a decade or two.

So people, next time you decide to leave me hanging here, don't expect me to come over and tell you goodbye. If you're close to me, you'd be lucky if you can even get a word that can somehow be related to "bye" from me a couple of weeks before you leave.


The person who would never say "goodbye" to the president,
ME

U So Fine U Blow My Mind... NOT!

Note to Satan : I said I'd write a blog for U right? Now here it is, and *toot* Ur "kill steal".
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How many of you out that have eagerly awaited a day out with friends, looking forward to that special day for a whole week, dressed up to the nines and accessoriesed yourselves with sugar, spice and everything nice to just let your hair down, relax and unwind.... Only to be greeted by a scene like this :
For me, this sight greeted me when I went Friendstering on one fine day after weeks of missing out on all the internet action due to some "disagreements" with my mom. Just try to imagine my position here. Imagine the feel of your fingertips as you gently press the mouse, caressing it with your delicate palm, hoping against hope that a profile of some sleeping beauty might await your vision... And to your horror this picture appears.
I'm not really great catch or a looker myself so I'm in no position to judge but at least the pictures that I decide to release on to the net are U-rated and can provide much needed comedy to my fellow viewers.
After taking a long hard look at this picture, I considered becoming either a lawyer or a politician in the future because I believe they should make a new International Law stating that only clowns will from here onwards be allowed to dye their hair green, blue or an ugly shade or red, because not only does hairstyle like this make your stomach turn (in a bad way), it can also be considered a form of optical pollution that might some day lead to hallucination of flying pigs dressed up like cows jumping over the moon.
But the again, I should thank this girl right here cause she gave me a perfect Blogdea (blog + idea... duh~!).... UGLY HAIR!!! So I dedicated a few hours of my precious youth and sacrificed a lot of my brain cells in order to bring to you the best colour with vivid contrast and 262K colours.

I doubt anyone can beat her when it comes to looking like a fool. Which dim witt, half-brained, retarded fool with -6million% of fashion sense would bleach their hair THEN dye it blue and red?! [Satan: She's the representative of TV3..So kindly excuse her fashion sense]
No points for answering "The girl with that ugly piercing on her lips!".
I don't really blame her though, look at her hair. It is evident she just went through an electric shock or something. Maybe she was struck by lightning a thousand times on her way to the saloon.
Hold that thought. Do you think it is ethical for a hair stylist to let a kid even come close to this hairstyle?!
I mean doctors have their ethics, teachers have their "Pengakuan", policemen have the law (not that they follow them in Malaysia, truly Asia but...) and lawyers probably have all those kinky stuffs to do too. So basically most service providers are bounded by a certain set of rules, so I guess hair stylist are no exception right?
Hei Retard, I suggest you bring your hairstylist to the court of law right this instant and sue the shit load outa him.
SEE?! Remember what I said about an ugly shade of red?! Serve you right for not taking my advice.
OK, maybe this pic looks ugly because the model herself is ugly but then since I'm dedicating this blog to ugly hair I'll just have to try my best to lay my blame on her.
Again, this brings into mind how much ethics should a hair stylist harbor.... To let a kid go through this... Don't blame me for defamation of these poor souls, blame themselves and anyone who allowed this absurd hairstyle to happen.
It's like the theory about a man who kills another man using someone else's gun. Is the man who pulls the trigger guilty, or the man who supplies the gun?
I'm straying from the topic here. That hairstyle = complete ugliness. I guess that about sums it all up.
I don't know what's up with my connection today but looking for ugly hair pics is proving to be a trouble with that connection that goes at the speed of a dead snail so I guess my scavenger hunt must stop now.
If anyone of you out there ever stumble upon ugly hairstyle feel free to send them to me and I'll post a part 2 for this article.

Prepared by,
Niyi, GOD of Bloging


PS: Check out the blog by Jess, it's damn freaking laugh your ass and head of funny @ Time Of My Life.

Scandals in KaeDeeYo

Stuck in the boring college life without hot chicks and bachalor parties, i began my search for fun. With no efforts at all, i found what do u call FUN... *smirks*

Prepared by : God Niyi

So, we have our Hollywood scandals, those boring political scandals (it's boring at least to the point until someone impregnates someone else) and let's face it, we've had about enough of them. So, I thought, why don't WE make a little scandal of our own? Nothing big, just to air a little dirty laundry here and there. You guys don't have to worry bout it, I'm sure these are all photos you've seen a million times before.
To start a good scandal article of, you must always do it with a big bang. So looking at the citizens of our A-Levels course, I guess the biggest "bang producer" must be Nathan cause I heard he used to be big, right? Sorry Nat, just take one for the team.
Nathan : The Pervert Exposed!!
He studies hard, engages in tons of sports and looks righteous and disciplined. So you must be thinking, "Yeah, no wonder girls all over are going goo-goo gaa-gaa over him." Right? RIGHT!!??
Think again!
Look at that satisfied and gleeful smile as he holds a pair of GIRL'S UNDIES in one hand and what looks like a beer can in front of him! EEWWW!
Wasai~ Semi-translucent undie lagi loh!
And to top it all of, he's doing it right in front of what seems to be statues of the Chinese gods! So the next time you judge someone, don't judge him by his cover. Look deep inside, and discover the pervert in every man.
Nathan : The Ugly Duckling
Yet again, Nathan amazes us by showing us the other side of him.
Look at those skinny white thighs! Even girls don't have thighs as pretty as those!
And that dungu face! Oh my Me! What Nathan looked like before he metamorphosed into Ichigo look-alike is definitely a sight not to behold.
Haha~ Just realised he still haven't gotten his sexy lips yet in this pic.
But still, those skinny white thighs!!
Argh! My eyes!!!
Moving on, who do we love more than our dear sweet-talking flirting machine -- Samson? He looks cute, is one year younger than us and most of all, provides us with the perfect pictures for a perfect scandal. Put your hands together for *drum roll please* Mr. Samson!!
..... Did I get the wrong pic here? Lemme check first. No! IT IS SAMSON!
Look at those blood-shot eyes, that runny nose, those skinny hands. All the most obvious tell-tale signs of a druggie.
The once respected, formal clothes wearing Samson.... Degrading into this manner.
This is all proof that we should stay away from drugs. It can ruin your life, your love (see, that's why he's still single) and most of all... it can make you look as UGLY as him! Not that he looks good without drugs but drugs can make you look even worse!
Don't hate me dude.
So, first he's a druggie, now he's a gay pervert.
No, I should say BLIND gay pervert.
Or should it be "retarded"?
Out of all the stupid choices you could make, you just had to choose the ugliest of them all?
Come on lah brader~! It's SIT JIE HAO (I'm corrupting my own blog by writing his name here) man! What's wrong with you?!
Look at those ugly lips and those sleepy eyes! Look at that ugly face! Samson, can you honestly tell me you would give up your dignity by gaying with this guy?
Repent your sins my brother and return to God.
Oh my Me, I just took a closer look at your face.
OK, I take back my words. You two suit each other perfectly.
The beauty and the beast. The beast and the beast. What better couple could there be?
I know normally opposites attract but "Hei, the good Lord works in mysterious ways." There can be times when similarities will hold two people together. Like gay-ness and ugliness.
Sine we're already on the topic of gays, I might as well bring to light the newest member of the Gay Club (Led by Slur and Kay) -- YIN PANG!! *big round of applause please*
Slur, eat your heart out! Yin Pang is officially of the girls' market!
Look at the way they hold hands. So firm, so secure, so intimate...
And those knowing smiles, as if saying "Darling, just the sight of you makes me laugh my @$$ off."
But wait! How come the guy in blue has a facial expression as if he's trying to say "Yin Pang! Stop ogling over cute guys and look at me. LOOK AT ME!! I said look at me! Look into my eyes as we dance this night away and tell me you love me!" But Yin Pang is going like "NO!!! I want cuter guys!".
Of course if you think that's gonna be the end of the sex-capades in our college then guess again. When you say "gay", you can never forget Day. It rhymes! By "Day" I mean Dayrion lah~ Or else known as Gayrion.
Look at him~ Just look at him!!!!
That baby-T! As if he has anything to flaunt but keeping that aside..
Look at that *toot*ing GAY!! (Note : The writer does not discriminate against gays.)
As if the sight isn't painful enough, he has to put his arms up in a certain angle to release his arm-pit odours!
Eugene must be shouting, "You *toot*er, put your arms down before this whole class passes out from your stench!"
And yet again, Gayrion pollutes our body (especially the eyes), mind and soul with another gay picture of himself.
Not only is this narc wearing a hairpin, he had to wear a PINK hairpin (contributed by Pat)!!!!
And doesn't the looks in his eyes make you think he just finished looking up a girl's / guy's skirt / pants?
SICK! SICK! SICK!
Mel, beware, K? Just... just... *sigh* Just beware K, Mel?

The guy innocently eating is Tai Wei, the new guy from Humanities who seems to have grown found of SJH.
The guy checking Tai Wei's ass out is Eric, also from Humanities.
WT *toot*?! *rewinds* Checking Tai Wei's ASS out?
Yup, that's it dudes and dudettes! The list of gay perverts is just getting longer and longer by the day. And Paparazzi Pat was lucky enough to have gotten this beautiful pic of a pervert in action!!

The Jokers Sometimes Emerge Victorious, The Kings Sometimes Fall Too
Next agenda on our scandal : The Kings Who Fell.
Nice name eh? I'm pretty proud of it too. More pictures, more pictures!
From left : A-Pek Eugene, Nerdy Gayrion, Superman Seng, Clueless Wei.

Lecturers call us the craziest bunch of monkeys they've seen since they started teaching... and after seeing this pic, I don't blame them.
Not only do we turn their office upside down every time we need a place to hang, these people also go to the extent of taking that place as their studio to make a fool of themselves!
And may I ask what the *toot* Tai Wei is doing in that pic? He's like, "Oh hei, someone's taking a pic... Maybe I should join in... Wait, why are those apes dressed funny. Never mind, I want my pic taken..."
And Leng Seng is going like (notice he seems to be checking Eugene's @$$ out), "Hmm~ When Eugene pulls his pants so high up, it seems to display his butt more. Can't say I don't like this view. Maybe I should suggest him to wear his pants like this more often."
I kinda pity some of our lecturers for having to meet these kinda monkeys....
Can you see up his nostrils?
Introducing to all of you, Merv a.k.a. Marilyn Pak. Some prefer to call him "Piano Guy", some call him the "Asian Maxim", some just go for plain old "Mr. Pak".
Falling from grace.
To think Marilyn who would wear wrist-cuffs and all those stylish clothes and who looks after his image more than anything else would be caught in such an ugly pose!
Hei, is anyone thinking this guy looks like some famous person? You know, like some famous character or something. Read till the end if you would like to know who.

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who Is The Fairest Of Them All?

Definitely not this guy!
Muahahaha! Did anyone of you got the answer right?
By the way, thanks to Paparazzi Han for this beautiful idea of Mr. Potato.

Aww, we simply love gossips and scandals in action, dont we?






Copied word for word,
The President of TAO

The Ultimate Weapon for Satan

Pat. It's definitely Pat! Me as Satan, was shocked and mesmerised by a girl named Phathu Kesonsukhon. How and why?

On 1st Apr 2006, she AROUSED my interest and REMINDED me to search for the ultimate weapon for my life-long goal, World Domination. I went to a friend's birthday party that very day, party of a human of course, and thought it would be as boring as ever due to fact that all those attending are human beings themselves, [except for one, my eternal enemy the self-proclaimed, stinky, filthy, corrupted God] and that the host is a decent, self proclaimed, decent, lesbian girl who wont invite any hot sexy tube dancers, lap dancers or whip dancers. Human beings are sometimes boring. The party is a beach party but the host, Alexis, booked a room for two [Yea, i know what you're thinking... Few words of advice: Let your imagination run wild!], and we're all allowed to trash her room. As each and every unworthy human being does, we trashed her room. [We means, i'm included in the trashing act, for the simple reason to camourflage and mingle together with them, and yes, sadly i have to sacrifice myself and brace the filthiness of human beings and corruption of the self proclaimed God].

While everyone was enjoying, this girl, Pat we call her, leaned against the frame of the doorway to the bathroom, with her left leg bent and her right hand blocking the doorway. What's more, her EYES, the DEADLY pair of SEDUCTIVE eyes which at 1st i thought was a pair of angelic, innocent fucking pair of eyes. They tricked me, deceived me, lied to me, for i am Satan, HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO ME!! For all these long, i never know or realise the existence of my ultimate weapon to destruction and world domination. My stupidity and my underestimation almost brings me to my downfall. She combed her hair with her left hand and flung it once or twice mesmerising the whole room. Sudden silence engulfed the noisy room, changing it to the Room of Lust, like what i used to enjoy during my times in hell. Thank myself for i came in a form of female, or else i would most likely ejaculate right in front of this irresistable stare. Males are sitting behind me from where i stood that day, and from my hind eyes, i can see guys making little tents in their own world under their pants. Mr. Dayrion -- one of the insignificant bullshiter who is CURRENTLY in a relationship with my human mate, Ms. Melissa, was obviously drooling ALL over the spot. He should THANK me for he sat on a carpet which can absorbs drools and pees.

That lady, Pat, definitely melted what i dont used to have, my heart. She melted my heart like a fragile and helpless piece of chocolate dipped into a cup of hot milk. Wild thoughts of what would i have done to her if i'm in my real form made me hallucinate, for a short moment. How short? A few nanoseconds. Because unfortunately, at the same time, she triggered what supposed to be left untouch, Ms. Connie. The sexual excitement [short form: sexcitement] of Connie was aroused, and she sexcitedly and pathetically jumped onto the bed and sat on it with her hands supporting her upper body and her left leg bent SEXILY, or thats what she thought. Putting on a spastic face, Connie TRIED to moan which ended up like she's having a real bad asthma, trying to ask for the medication PLUS noise of a cow masturbating with a gigantic dildo. Add these two up and you know what kind of ungraceful pollution i was listening to. I was so sad that she had insulted the Art of Moaning until it was as if worthless. While "moaning" she touched her chest gently with her hand, again trying to be in a seductive way, yet again ended up looking like scratching a gigantic mosquito bite in her ass in an unpleasant and disgraceful way. This had badly damaged my eyesight and giving me hearing loss problems at the young age of 16years old. FUCK, i'd say. And yet, she called herself Bitch in Manhattan. I mean, OHH PUHH LEAASEE, how shameless can this human being be?! Even my worst apprentice in hell can moan better than that!! She is, the powerful... ASTHMATIC moaner on earth, Ms. Kelantan!

Next, Pat the devil proceeded towards the wardrobe. At first i thought she had a really bad itch on her back when she started rubbing herself against the wardrobe. But out of nowhere, she started twisting tips of her long, dark, shiny and rather wavey hair, bent her body in such awkward yet somehow seductive position and got lower and lower and lower. I sat on the bed looking blankly at her. My jaw was then dropped onto the bed unable to be fixed back into position. Again, her stare... her sexy stare which surpassed any of my lap dancers in hell... She lowered her head and threw a deadly stare at me, cruxifying me on the bed. Though in a body of a female, i've been unable to hold the lust anymore, showing the face of a helplessly mesmerised male. I was aware of my humiliation and switched my view to my surroundings, each and every guy in the room followed Pat's move, inch by inch as if little brainless kids smiling spastically at the TV screen while watching superheroes cartoons. Good things never end so soon, she came forward and pushed me down on the bed and went face to face with me. Oh FUCK how i wanted to kiss the shit out of her. All my superpowers were suddenly zapped out of my body. My Satan powers. FUCK, they're gone!! I was hectically searchin for it and then she kept my attention on her again. You, lowclassed human beings who are reading my blog will never know the magnetic lust which is pulling you towards it, even a greatly disabled 90years old human old man, who needs 20 maids to take care of and a dozen pampers per day simply to prevent his shit or pee to overflow or leak, will have the determination to crawl back up just to touch and feel the Ultimate Weapon.

Again, activating this deadly weapon has it's cons. Ms. Kelantan is on her move again. She pulled me out of Pat's embracement [Yes, i know. It's fuckish] and asked me to watch her suppose-to-be-stand-up comedy which i have to act along. Fuck i missed the lust of my ultimate weapon, and it unfortunately dropped into the hands of the holy one, God. Pat was getting in close distance with God. Hence, flaming hatred and anger was playing in my mind, Why... why must i stuck here inside a body of a girl, an ugly girl... WHY! Fuck my skills of transfomation. My mind was instantly pulled back to reality, Ms. Connie's act. I played along, pretended to walk past the bed and a sudden powerful grab pulled me towards the bed, I looked up, it's Connie acting desperate for sex, which then again looked like an asthmatic person looking for the right doctor to perform a CPR.

Knowing that i dont stand a chance against that fucking son of a bitch God right now, i give up going after my Ultimate Weapon rather, manipulate it to get my avenge on God. Her destructive stare and deadly seductions is simply enough to bring God down because this corrupted God loves hot chicks, lap dance and pole dance like any low life being does. And that day i can clearly see the helplessness of God when Pat is binding herself on God. God even asked Pat not to seduce her anymore or else she MIGHT kiss her. Such useless faggot will easily fall under my hands in no time. MUAHAHHHAAHAHA, after that i can simply enjoy my life happily ever after. The End.

Ahh yes, i wouldnt forget to bury Ms Connie together with God, just to keep those poisonous and noisy moans and scratching away from polluting MY world. Again, The End.

Note: All the above are non-fictions and did happened in real life. Pictures will be posted soon.

Roles:
Satan -- QhychaQ
God -- nionio
Ultimate weapon / Pat -- Phathu Kesonsukhon
Ms. Kelantan / the masturbating cow / Bitch in Manhattan -- Connie
The others were playing their own human role.



Written by,
The President of TAO.