Policeman

Malaysian police force, some like it, some hate it.
Let me explain. Those who like them are most probably species decending from the same genus as of the police force. Why do I say like that? As a Science student, I believe that although species under the same genus might differ in some aspects, they still share the same general characteristics. What characteristics do they share? Come, let me enlighten you barbaric fools.
Those "policemen" supporters will most probably fulfil either one or more of these requirements :

1. They are uneducated fools who think that the law was written just to entertain the minds of our ancestors.
2. They are selfish and think the world spins because they live.
3. I can't emphasise this enough. THEY ARE DUMB!

First off, these idiots probably like the police force, especially the traffic police (who we interact the most with) because their mentality are on the same level. It's something like, "Me dumb dumb, you stupiak idiota". They love the fact that they can do anything, literally ANYTHING, they want on the roads and streets yet never be held responssible or never be called upon to answer for their wrongdoings. Their answer to every obstacle that the law might provide and the police might enforce is money. I know I preach that "money is the world" theory but to put it into actually daily usage.... It's disgusting. These idiots are so skilled and refined when it comes to "sliping the note" into the hand of the police officer that despite (or maybe BECAUSE of) their way below par inteligence, I think that's the only thing they can be admired for. They should even have a advertisement on it with a motto that goes something like this.
Bribery, solution for life.

I can try to educate you dumbf**ks on the other type that despises the police officers but I don't reallyhave a reason to so let's skip that one.

In response to the public giving them bribes, the police officers (more often than not) will try to strike a bargain with them. People are never satisfied with what they are offered. I guess this saying has to be altered a little to suit this situation more. "Apes in police uniforms are never satisfied with what they're offered." Of course there is a small portion of these policemen who don't bargain when it comes to birbery. They simply accept what they can get and move on to their next victim.

[All the above were written by NioNio, and yes, i'm going to continue writing due to the fact that she's irresposible enough for leaving the draft here for months. Note: the quality of language and usage of words of NioNio's article are incomparable with mine.]

Let's continue from where she left you guys hanging. They simply accept what they can get and move on to their next victim... Yes, my hypothesis is that by moving fast they can actually get MORE than u stuck on one bargaining the exact price. For example, everyone pays RM100, and policeman A, wants to strike for RM200, you might be spending half an hour (30 minutes) talking to that fucking dumb ass, who is very stingy or brings only RM100 with him. OR you can choose to get the standard price from everyone, RM100, and policeman B settles one case after another with 10minutes per case. So, after an hour, policeman A will be earning RM400 and policeman B will be earning RM600. Such diference, as you can see. And besides, by using method that policeman A uses, you are risking your life. Maybe after bargaining for half an hour, your customer who wants to pee so badly is totally pissed off. There, you have to pay the price:

1. Your number thingy being noted down by your beloved customer and being sent to the Government.
2. The customer dont feel like paying anymore, he wants THE TICKET!

So, it's a suicidal move to bargain, fellow policeman. If anyone of you reading this blog is a policeman, here's a piece of advise: Bargain kills and Everyday is National Smile Day. Why? You are in the customer service line, if you're a professinal, you clearly know that you SHOULD NOT piss your customers off or you will get to have a new place to stay [probably jail] in a few weeks time.

And statistically, most of those who need to bribe to police, are those who did not wear safety belt while driving. Now, THAT is the stupidest and most-not-worth-it thing to be fined. Because, safety belt SAVES lives!! It's 100% guranteed!! [provided that you drive below 40kmph AND has an airbag in front of you, which pops out at the right time OR you can have natural airbags which only applies for women who have huge boobs], and wearing a safety belt is easier than farting! Just Zruk* and Click. As easy as A-B-C.

One more way to avoid being trashed by the police force. Do a good deed and flash high-light to the opssite lane for the purpose of informing them, that there're policemen in front [Only if you really saw policemen doing road blocks. Dont EVER give a damn if others simple didnt buckle up the seat belt and you saw it. No it's not worth it. Why, you asked? I've got a question too, ever heard of Road Bullies? Yea, So dont simple flash if the police arent there]. You flash a good deed, next time others will flash back!

Well I guess that is all about the qualities of Malaysian Police Force. More to come next time. Oh yea, we've got a FORUM, so if you're interested, feel free to join!!

*Zruk = the sound effect of SUCCESSFULLY pulling the safety belt to its buckle. If it's not successful you might face a zruk-tok* situation.
*Zruk-tok = the sound effect of UNSUCCESSFUL pulling of safety belt to its buckle.

President of TAO and one of the most UNPOPULAR admin,
Qhychaq and Nionio.